Saturday, November 5, 2011

Unknown

For months I heard sounds
Profound sounds of a dark fog...but this fog had life....
Hormonal imbalance, post partum psychosis, OCD
That's how the doctors explained it to me.
These sounds were coming from the TV,
Sometimes music sometimes a show...

But when the last episode occurred I almost lost it,
I questioned a whole lifetime of normalcy and sanity....
It was a song with a jazzy beat, a mesh of instruments, and a flamenco twist,
I stepped out the shower calm and relaxed,
The music played and my mind didnt even note it,
I walked on the cold tiles towards my room,
Suddenly the sounds consumed me like a posession,
I cant recall how and when but my body jolted forward as i started running toward the kitchen,
I was paralyzed, comatose, and immobile...somehow....outside of myself I watched my limbs dangle and heard my voice shake,

I heard repeated words of "NOOO" escape my mouth,
I couldn't control it, I don't know how...
I neared the ipod as it extrapolated demonic soundwaves,

I felt consumed by volcanic expectorants of surreal eerieness,
The iPod was in the dock, once i reached the spot where we were face to face and it seemed like time stopped...

What I experienced re-defined the word shock...
I was right in front of it and I noticed that what I heard from afar was not a dream, it was really happening, not a movie scene...
At this point I could barely move and when I did I shook like a Parkinson's patient,
Up close my ears were fine tuned to the evil in the sounds it was releasing,

my antennas were throbbing with a desire to explode,
How horrible, how mortifying, how frightening...I just wanted to become nothing.
I was able to move my hand enough to knock the iPod off the player,

The silence as frightening as seconds before, failed to reassure me the nightmare was over,
I Tried to return to my body and distraught in panic I sped to my bedroom to change,
I prayed to the saints to help me so that God could reach out to me and help me faster,
I took my stamp of St. Michael the Archangel to drive out what had tried to intoxicate me,
I sat outside crying confused in despair,
Wondering what why how and what again,

nothing but questions in the air,
I was exhausted of hearing things, seeing things and shadows, and more..

Was I psychotic, demented, schizophrenic?
Was it a message, was it an alien, was it a spirit what was it?
My soul purged tears in hopes of peace,

Years passed...the questions fail to cease....
Funny, I want to know but I'm afraid to ask....



Spiritual seeking...There was a message in it....I'mconvinced at last.

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