Lost

The nights so still
Silence so loud
Cold bites my soul
I don't want to leave this now
I'm not a game
I deserve more than I have
I'm capable of it all
Foolish my other half
I am alone
In the stillness of the night
I am alone in a crowd
Alone in daylight
In my house
All the time
I am alone
I feel fear and light at the same time
I see light
I see more
My eyes are the doors
Entrance of depth
Your darkness I don't accept
I'm in a hole
Sadness beyond control
Depression took over
I'm lost in a dimension I always turn away
I climb to the top without tiring
But somehow I got here today?
My mind floods with dark possibilities
The speed is much too fast
I need to drown my sorrows
In a nice cold glass
I'm transitioning to the duality I loathe
My fathers daughter I'm becoming
Drowning in the vice I despise most
It's numbing
It's consoling
It's understandable in the blurr
I'm afraid of the damage genetics incur
A drink is minor next to his doom from the drugs
I don't want to walk that path of dirt
I just need a hug...
But my pride is hurt
Another drink is happy times
I need a reason to not
In darkness one cant see the signs
This is better than the drain from depression

Genetics win at times like this
When there's true love this doesn't occur.