Battles

I’m sick
Sometimes demented
Sometimes beautiful and ideal
Nothing is right
And many times moments are so sweet that nothing could be wrong
Bittersweet forms my mood swings
You make them reasonable
I am demented; this connection with you is overly prolonged
You live off my sorrow
You confuse me in choosing my battles
I imagine being invincible
I would place you forcefully in my shoes
Walk in my skin and feel the knives that I trample
Eggshells are silk compared to the blood my feet tolerate
Before the face of anger I'm a victim to vulnerability
Victim of my “id”
Victim of the “me” I struggle not to be
The “me” you don’t like to see
I CAN breathe anymore
But I don't want to...but I do
And then when I carry 3 tons in my chest, I don't want to and resign to the frailty
I appear like a stone wall to you
You wrote on me the animosity I feel today
I’m the stone creation of your abuse
And now you want to vandalize your own fabrication…
How can there be such a thin line between love and hate
I found love in a hopeless place